Bitterness: Life Lesson from the Book of Ruth

Overcoming bitterness is another life lesson from the Book of Ruth. I am getting close to the end of my new book, 10 Life Lessons from the Book of Ruth. Here is another excerpt. Hope you enjoy it. Please leave comments.

Both of these women(Naomi and Ruth) suffered great loss; however, they reacted differently to those losses. Naomi became bitter because of what she had lost (Ruth 1:13-20). This is Naomi’s whining (murmuring, complaining, groaning) passage. Every word out of her mouth was negative and she put the blame squarely on God. I think she forgot that God was not the one who told Elimelech to leave Bethlehem and go to Moab. Naomi acted as if she had no understanding of the goodness and mercy of God. Instead of being bitter at the loss of her family, she should have been counting her blessings (though they may have been few in her eyes).

In Ruth 1:20, Naomi declares, “Do not call me Naomi (Delight, Pleasant One), call me Mara (Bitter) for God has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full (the greatest possible, maximum) and the Lord has brought me home again empty (destitute, devoid).”  Was Ruth considered part of Naomi’s family? Naomi acted in a way which makes me believe she did not consider Ruth as part of her (full) family since she used the word ‘empty’ to define her current circumstances.

We often find ourselves in almost the same frame of mind and heart (sometimes the same) as Naomi. Bitterness will take root (Hebrews 12:15) if we allow it. When we start looking at God as the enemy and blaming our misfortunes on Him, bitterness will quickly begin to control our lives. Even though we may not see bitterness in a person with our naked eye, bitterness will manifest in a number of ways.

Bitterness is a root; therefore, like plant roots, it will grow and fester below the surface. God warned us to avoid bitterness which is characterized by negativity, critical attitudes, resentfulness, and an unforgiving spirit. Even though the Bible does not record it; I imagine there were days, especially in the beginning, that Naomi was not very nice to Ruth or even resented her. When we are bitter, we want everyone around us to be bitter as well. Ephesians 4:31-32 admonishes us to get rid of all bitterness and practice what God taught us about love and forgiveness.

In order to remove this poisonousness root from our lives, we need to practice forgiveness. If we are bitter due to what others have done (or what we perceived they have done), we need to start with forgiveness. I believe Naomi held deep anger toward her husband as well as towards God. She was mad at Elimelech because he took her to Moab where she was left empty and she blamed God for allowing this to happen. Unforgiveness, like bitterness, is a poison. It can cause emotional and physical problems. It can cause us to see a distorted image of ourselves and others. Naomi’s image of herself was definitely distorted. She saw herself as empty, God saw her as full; she saw herself as broken and damaged, God saw perfection. We need to learn to see ourselves as God sees us. We are to be transformed into His glorious image from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Ruth was not bitter at her loss; she was determined to be a blessing to her mother-in-law even though her loss was as great as Naomi’s (Ruth 1:16-17). Ruth was the catalyst which started to melt Naomi’s stony heart. As the seasons passed and Naomi’s circumstances began to improve the root of bitterness in her heart began to dissolve. I believe her relationship with Ruth, mother/daughter, helped heal the broken places in her heart. So in the end, Naomi once again felt that her life was full.

Do not allow grief and bitterness of define who you are. Let the love of God grow richly in your heart and allow forgiveness to have free reign in your spirit. You will realize, like Naomi, that you are full and not empty.